I've been thinking, and I think I want to try something a little different here. If you know me well you know that I love quotes... I have hundreds of them tucked away. I'd love to share some of my favorites. Shannon does a "thought of the day", I suppose his are mostly his own thoughts... I guess I'm not that creative. We'll see how well I can keep up... if my ambitions are bigger than my drive.
Anyway, tonight was my small group night and we have just started a book called Relationships by Les and Leslie Parrott. The book is great so far. The first chapter started with this thought... I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
"If we try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on our own, all of our relationships become an attempt to complete ourselves."
Anyway, tonight was my small group night and we have just started a book called Relationships by Les and Leslie Parrott. The book is great so far. The first chapter started with this thought... I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
"If we try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on our own, all of our relationships become an attempt to complete ourselves."
posted by Alison at 1:02 AM
9 Comments:
I definitely agree with this quote! Been there, attempted that, it didn't complete me! No offence, Matthew, it's no reflection on you... it just shows that I had a LOT of self-reflecting to do but I was doing it in a two-person mirror. When we first broke up, I didn't know who I was. But AFTER, when I realized that, it was a huge time of self-discovery!
So yeah, I agree
Actually, that's the only reason I dated you....so you could learn that valuable lesson.
how VERY sweet of you.
Well...that's why I dated you the first time. But the overall goal was that your newfound identity (gained via dating the 1st time), would be highly adorable (making dating the 2nd time splendid).
But my plan failed miserably. Draw from that what you like.
Alison -give me your hand-
"when miles keep us apart, its nice just to eat chocolate and ice cream...or better yet chocolate ice cream"
and that is to say i glad we can connect through blogs, thanks for stopping by mine.
and about quote: its a good one, it shows wisdom because it reflects reality...not just for you Sarah, the same is true in my life.
Hi Alison :) I agree with the quote for the most part, but I think that sometimes we only learn more of ourselves by relating to others, and I think that dating is one way in which this learning is induced. So yeah, i guess what i'm trying to say is that we should not make our entire life that relationship, but we should let that relationship enhance our life. Balance I guess. Not that I know a whole lot on the matter....lol...but i just wanted to comment!
p.s. I just remembered something K. Neilson said about this: "Sometimes we can only grow inside relationship. It can't all be done on our own."
I agree with Jo too. Everyone is so smart.
"If we try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on our own, all of our relationships become an attempt to complete ourselves."
I've been trying to formulate a reply to this for 20 minutes now but it doesn't seem to come out quite the way I want it to. There is truth to this quote. A relationship can become what defines you in your mind if you don't already have some sort of direction in your life. Sense is such a touchy word though. Does the author mean a concrete idea? An inkling of an idea? A solid plan? An already feeling of contentment? I think that I would look at this quote differently depending on what he or she means by the word sense. I do think you need to be able to have a life outside of the relationship which does require some sort of self-awareness on your part or else it will be trouble. Becoming dependent can be toxic to you and to your relationship. I don't think that it's important to have all of your goals laid out in front of you before entering into an intimate relationship though. And important part of being in a relationship is growing together and learning together and you have to leave room for change. My husband completes me and I would think it was wrong if he didn't but I can still function as an individual. So assuming the author means you just need some sort of life outside of the relationship I agree completely with what they've said. I've been through relationships that I made my life, not just a part of my life and it was messy, and there was no way they could have worked in the long run. But I also know if I had entered my life with my husband totally set in my ways it never would have worked either. I was going to explain better but I have to go pick my son up from school now.
Post a Comment
<< Home