Apparently I'm Wearing A Sign

*I actually wrote this post on Friday night, but this is the first time I've been near an internet connection *

A great big, neon flashing sign. One that says “Crazy Men Accepted Here”, or something to that effect. Not being a weird and/or crazy man myself, I can’t actually see it, only its effects.

I have been in possession of said sign for quite some time, since high school definitely, maybe even longer. However, it seems to have gained some brilliance and attraction over the last four months that I’ve been in Delaware. You see, since I’ve been here across my path have wandered some of the most interesting characters. First there was Greg* from Florida (aka the wedding guy or the drunk guy), he’s the real reason for this post, but more about him in a bit. Then, only days later, there was Josh, the random phone call boy, and after that blind date mustache Jason. More recently we have seen Convict Rob and Wayne Gaspipe** and his friend Bubs***. That’s not to mention all the characters you meet teaching middle and high school… All of these guys have great stories attached to them, ask sometime and I’ll tell you all about them, but right now we need to focus on Greg.

It’s 11 o’clock on the first night I’ve had off in who knows when, I’m laying on the couch, half asleep and my phone rings… who calls at this hour??? Only Greg… driving under the influence none the less. To whine about a work Christmas party, to tell me that I have the sweetest voice he’s ever heard, and to ask if he can come to visit for the weekend sometime. We talked for about an hour… well, mostly I listened and he talked. The guy is practically a stranger, I served him beer all afternoon at a wedding in August, that’s all. But yet, I’m the person he NEEDS to talk to in the middle of the night when he’s been in a fight, or the middle of the afternoon when his dog runs away. I swear he gets creepier every time I talk to him. Had he been this creepy the first time I talked to him, it would have been the last time.

I just don’t get it. What I want to know is how do I end up in situations like this??? I mean, how is it that all the weird guys in the world end up flocking to me and I can’t find one decent guy who loves Jesus, ice cream, and a nice girl like me? Could it be that I’m too nice, that no one else will talk to them so they keep talking to me? If that’s the case, I need to work on being more rude or something.

Any insight or help on how to remove my neon sign would be much appreciated.



* didn’t even bother to change his name because he doesn’t even own a computer
** name changed to protect the innocent
*** actual name left to laugh at the innocent :)